So I have been sitting at my computer for about 50 minutes, writing, and re-writing this post. There are so many thoughts running through my head right now. If there is one thing I have learned this year, it is that God is the one who is ultimately in charge of our lives. Literally everything I had planned for 2016 didn't happen. Not. One. Thing. But that's okay, because everything He had planned was much better than anything I could have planned myself. Including serving a mission. I honestly never planned on serving, and never really wanted to or had the desire to. But boy has that changed! Now I am just dying to go!
After I came home from Peru, everything I had planned fell apart. It was really hard. I have never felt so lost and confused before. Going through the temple and receiving my endowments really helped me to feel grounded. Shortly after going through the temple was when I decided to serve a mission. That whole process went really quickly up until receiving my mission call to Spain. Since then, it has been extremely slow. From the time that I got my call, to when I leave, is a period of over four months. Guys, that's a third of a year! I really wanted to be gone asap! I was hoping to leave before Christmas. That plan also backfired! haha I have really been struggling with why I have to wait so long to leave. Still don't have an answer for that, but that's okay.
I guess I'm just trying to say that I am learning to be okay with the unknown. To other people, my struggles are probably pathetic. They might be thinking, "If the only thing she has to worry about, is not leaving for Spain when she wants to, she really doesn't have anything to worry about at all." And that's okay. Because it's definitely not the only thing I'm worrying about right now, it's just the only one I feel comfortable enough to put online for anyone and everyone to see. When I started this blog, it was just to keep my family and friends updated while I was in Peru. But now, it has become a little therapeutic and a nice way to organize my thoughts.
Anyways, I'm just gonna keep plugging along in life, and see where it takes me! I am so grateful for this gospel, and its many wonderful truths! Lately I have been so very grateful that I can feel Christ's love for me. He will never leave us alone. I want to leave you guys with this wonderful quote by President Thomas S. Monson:
"Your Heavenly Father loves you--each of you. That love never
changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your
possessions, or by the amount of money you
have in your bank account. It is not changed by your
talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you
when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful.
God's love is there for you whether or not
you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there."
Keep pushing through life, guys. You can do it! Remember, God is mindful of you. If you are ever feeling lonely, I invite you to pray to God and ask Him if He is there. His love is always there for you.
